HAPPY NEW YEAR
It seems the entire world is fascinated with the idea of experiencing a New York New Years. I heard that over a million people, 1 M-I-L-L-I-O-N, showed up in Times Square this year to watch a stupid ball of lights fall for 1 minute. Barely 1 million people showed up to tear down the Berlin wall. I don’t know about you, but that just seems like a terrorists wet dream to me. Therefore, I am obligated to do a New Years post.
I’ll be honest, New Years is New Years no matter where you are. I know that my parents and brothers had just as much fun at a local house party as I had, here, in New York. However, things here do seem to be on a bit grander scale.
So, I will start from the beginning. Going into December 31, I already had a very busy day. Bitsy was due to arrive at LaGuardia around 1pm with two very large bags of clothes for both us. So, I had to ensure that I was back to our apartment so I could carry them up our six flights of stairs, and I already had a full day of errands.
Since the tiny island of Manhattan has to accommodate some 500,000+ people who decide to VISIT for New Years, most bars, night clubs, restaurants, etc. sell entrance tickets online in preparation of the crowded festivities (I’m sure they get added advertising income with the higher web traffic due to ticket sales as well). Since I am such a street smart kind of guy, I purchased such tickets for Bitsy and I, and I was determined to pick them up the moment the ticket office opened so I could beat the crowd. That means that I had to be up at 8:30 am so I could take a train all the way downtown by 9:30.
Then, because Bitsy and I have more clothes than anyone, I had to run to the container store to acquire some urgently needed storage. Other than the 3 block + 3 avenue walk (I think that’s equivalent to about 15 total blocks)and train ride carrying 90 lbs. worth of storage, my day went without a hitch. Bitsy’s plane was delayed but she made it in time to take a nap and get ready for the festivities we had lying ahead.
Now on to the TRUE EXPERIENCE.
Bitsy and I were meeting a fraternity brother of mine and his girlfriend at The Collective restaurant and bar.
The Collective in Meat Packing
We purchased, what we thought, expensive entrance tickets (around $80 a piece). However, because I’m full of street smarts, we got there early so we could get a seat, and to our surprise, the tickets were ALL INCLUSIVE, and they weren’t servin no Heaven Hill or Southern Comfort—It was all top shelf. Bitsy and I hit the mother load, and we were proud.
Side note—Because it was our first New Years in NYC I made sure that we had appropriate New Years paraphernalia including: flashing 2011 glasses, flashing hats, and flashing noise makers—
Bitsy and Erin
Despite our early arrival, I was under the assumption that the bar would pack as many people into the space as possible. That’s logical right? They are a business…. and surely they would want to maximize profits, right? With that in mind, and presuming that it would be difficult to get Bitsy and I drinks all night, I decided to strike up a deal with the female bartender. So, I put on my flashing glasses, I slipped her $20, and I told her every time she saw the flashing glasses to deliver two beverages.
How do you think that went?
A) Like any typical New Yorker, she rolled her eyes and ignored me.
B) She took my $20, but she never gave me any service.
C) Everything went swimmingly, and Bitsy and I had an ecstatic New Years.
D) It worked up until the bar ridiculously busy.
Answer: if you guessed C, then you are right.
Bitsy and my night went swimmingly. Not only did the girl deliver our beverages every time she saw my glasses, but sometimes she walked out from behind the bar to ensure we received the drinks. HOW’S THAT FOR STREET SMARTS?! BOOM!
All in all, Bitsy and I had a really fun time at a really fun venue. We didn’t make it home until around 5am. Don’t ask me how, it just happened. Our New York New Years was a success. Although we did not have Egg Nog or a warm cozy fire, we had a Prescription Bottle Chandelier, some bumpin tunes, Destiny (a random skank who decided to latch on to our group) and each other. It was indeed a Happy New Year
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! CHEERS
True New Years Swagger
On a side, side note—I GOT A NEW JOB, and I start on Tuesday. I am officially a permanent employee of PRL.